Angry doesn't even begin to explain how I am feeling at the moment.

Some may remember how unhappy I was with the Neurologist we saw here in Maine. We have since gone to Boston and the Neuro we saw there ordered a 24 EEG scan to be done on B to determine if she is having seizures. Rather than make us travel all the way to Boston to have the test done it was scheduled to be done here.

Oh joy.

Last week I waited anxiously the entire week to hear from the doctor about her results.

Monday went by, Tuesday went by, Wednesday went by..... you get the picture. No call. Nothing.

I call them on Friday. He is off that day. After explaining who ordered the test to be done, that it was a 24 hour scan not a 20 minute one, the dates she had it done etc. she tells me that there is no notes in her chart stating to notify the parents of the results.

Are you freaking kidding me??? Ahhhhhhh!

I specifically said, more than once, that I wanted to be called once the scans were read!

Unreal.

So this morning I miss their phone call. I called back, left a message. I get a call this afternoon and say hello three times when I answer. Nothing. Hang up and call back and I get the answering machine. WTH??

I call again and finally speak to the receptionist. She informs me that she did speak to Dr. Numbnuts and that he has read the wrong scan because there was an error and someone elses EEG was scanned onto B's report!!

WTH??? How on earth can a mistake like this be made? She sounded very unsure about whether the scans can be recovered or what actually happened. I am so pissed it isn't even funny. I will not put her through that again and now I'm not even sure I can trust the results. Who knows who's EEG it may be. I swear I hate that office.

Just a little vent.......


Why is it people feel they have the right to comment on the number of kids you have? I mean really, how rude, I would never dream of saying something to anybody about how many kids they chose to have. I ran into a high school friend yesterday at Wal-Mart and after asking me if Dev & B were mine she exclaimed " Do you ever plan on stopping?" and laughed. Then my oldest daughter piped up with "I know, really, 4 kids!" in that sassy teenager tone. Now I know the comment was meant in jest but I'm sensitive and it rubbed me the wrong way. They are MY children and it was MY personal choice to have them. Nobody is footin the bill, nobody else is raising them, caring for them, responsible for them etc.What is so wrong about having 4 kids? I LOVE being a mother, always have, and despite the road not always being a smooth one I love all of my kids very much and each one is a blessing to me. And to be completely honest, if B was perfectly healthy we would probably have another!

And btw, Miss Dany got an earful from me to say the least.

What a day today has been, I am seriously ready for the kids to be in bed so I can have just a moment of quiet time before I go to bed myself. I have never in my life been so frustrated with Doctor's offices! WTF, why can't the receptionists do their jobs? Cody had an appointment this afternoon ( more on that in a minute) and just before I pull into the hospital Dale calls. He is super pissed, he just got off the phone with Dr. A's office and DHS (we have state health insurance) is refusing to pay for B's visits to Boston because they have no paperwork. Uggghhhh! To make a long story short, I sat in the office for about 45 minutes while phone calls were made to to different offices in Boston and to DHS and as it turns out they need 30 days to process the referral so they won't cover her geneticist appointment, which is tomorrow! I don't understand, how hard is it to fax over one piece of paper from one office to the next? And it's not just the office here in Maine, there is lack of communication between the offices in Boston as well. If we canceled the appointment we would still be charged for the hotel room we reserved and we'd have to wait at least 30 days for another appointment. Dale has taken time off from work and I've had to reschedule two of our regular therapy appointments to make plans to go. Why should we be the ones who have to run all the way to Portland to pick up her MRI images cause they never sent them, why should we have to go to the Drs. office to pick up the referral when her appt had been scheduled for a month, shouldn't that have been done already? Unreal. So, we are going anyways I guess and will have to pay for it out of pocket.

And poor Cody, he has Pilonidal Abscess, which in plain English is an abscess on your butt crack. He had to have it lanced today and we go back Wednesday and will need to schedule him for surgery. The surgeon said it's very deep and the "pocket" as he put it needs to be removed completely. Ouch! Poor kid was so humiliated and in so much pain he could barely walk. The Dr. said it was caused by an ingrown hair, I think he will take up shaving his ass crack after this ordeal. :P

I'm frumpy. Plain and simple. The Amy that once cared about her hair, her nails, and being tan is a distant memory. I miss feeling good about me, about how I look. I miss feeling somewhat healthy. I'm tired of looking in the mirror and fearing that at some point that image that I see is no longer going to fit in the mirror lol. So, my Weight Watchers journey begins again. Why can't I be one of those people who can eat anything and not see it stuck to the side of their hips the next day? I have been up and down the scales my whole life and being 36 years old, that's a long time. It should be as easy as eat less, move more but it's not. Since cutting off a limb to lose a quick 20 pounds isn't an option, I guess I need to start counting my points and also getting some exercise, at least a few times a week. Honestly, sometimes I wonder if I'm addicted to food. I don't sit and eat a whole package of cookies or a box of donuts at one sitting, but like an alcoholic likes a drink to unwind, I like to have a sweet snack after the kids are in bed. That snack is usually Ben & Jerry's and at 28 points a pint, it is probably one of the worst things I can eat. I have great intentions, really I do. I tell myself all day that I won't snack at night but I give into my cravings every time. It feels like I don't have an ounce of self control or willpower but I know that's not true. I kicked the habit before so I know I can do it again. Hopefully.

A quote my sister sent me......

"Losing weight is hard. Being overweight is hard. Choose your hard."