Sunday, January 20, 2008

We finally have an appointment at the Boston Children's Hospital on Feb. 14th. Please keep your fingers crossed for us, I really hope that we find the answers I so badly need.

I bought myself one of the Chicken Soup books for Christmas, one about children with special needs. The first things I read was an article titled "Welcome to Holland." This was written by Emily Perl Kingsley who is a mother to a child with Down's Syndrome. This touched my heart almost as much as Melanie's poem.:)


Welcome to Holland


by Emily Perl Kingsley
Print Version

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this...

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome To Holland".

"Holland?!?" you say, "What do you mean "Holland"??? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy"

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around…and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills...Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy...and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned".

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away...because the loss of that dream is a very significant loss.

But...if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things...about Holland.

7 comments:

Kitty said...

That is so true and such a good analogy.I was always so afraid things "wouldn't be right" when Griffin was born because of the state I was in-being in a new state,having our dog taken from us etc... right before he was born.I just wasn't sure if my stress affected him.I'm not afraid anymore though because I realize blessings come in all different packages!

Minilegs said...

I agree, great analogy. I think that's what makes a difference between existing and making the most of life. We all have grief and struggles. Not one can be considered greater than another. It's always about our attitude and what we make of our lives. Love you bunches

Melissa said...

I loved that, it's very very touching. I hope that B's upcoming appts. shed some light for you and your family. Please keep us updated!

AnnD said...

I loved that story!!! So amazing! It reminds me of a quote I just heard: "Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain."

Heather said...

:)
Glad you got the appointment and *hopefully* the ball rolling in the right direction for Brooklyn's care.

Heather said...

Boy, I sure wish someone would update their blog.
*whistles*

Jerinda said...

I'm so glad you got the appointment.