Why?

I've had no desire to write in my blog the past few days. My mind has been elsewhere after Brooklyn's Neuro appointment. I can't think of anything else but the news we received and when I do take a moment to regroup and try and think of other things I feel guilty for not focusing solely on her. My life; it's changed in an instance. And who knows what other diagnosis's we will receive. How do I find the courage to be strong, to not crumble? All I do is cry. My heart aches every time I think of what her future will be like. My poor baby girl, I want so much for this all to be a bad dream. My daughter is never going to be normal. Never. How do I find the strength to accept that? How do I pick myself up and be the strong mother that so many feel I am? Dale says I can't let this ruin our lives and I know he's right but it's so hard to deal with the reality that this is now my life. I need to grieve for what she will never be and I don't think he understands my feelings. :(

I spoke with B's pediatrician today and she said she would refer us to Boston Children's hospital for a second opinion. She also said that she was going to work on getting us a social worker who would help us out with different financial programs for children with disabilities. She said that we are going to need all the resources we can get because unfortunately, her care is going to be very expensive. She also said she would be eligible for disability. I can hardly believe it when I type it. God give me strength.